Have you lost your temper with your children, having felt a rage you never knew before you had kids? Then feeling intensely guilty afterwards, feeling like a ‘bad mum’ and thinking you’ve failed for getting so angry?
Or you love your child so much, but can’t get rid of those strange thoughts you have popping in about hurting them? What if you would just drop the baby, or hit your child?
If you have experienced this, you might have had ‘maternal rage’ or intrusive thoughts about harm coming to your children. You’re not alone, and shaming yourself for it is only making it worse. Putting pressure on yourself to still achieve and strive like you did pre-motherhood leaves you vulnerable for parental burnout, and more likely to have another episode of rage.
This episode with Clinical Psychologist Caroline Boyd, author of the book Mindful New Mum, may feel triggering for some, so please be aware of the support sources mentioned too.
We cover:
- Pressure on girls to be ‘good’
- Super mum myth, perfect mother myth
- Navigating the highs and lows of motherhood
- Loneliness and isolation of Western motherhood
- Postpartum depression increased due to lockdowns
- Pressure to be perfect and joyful
- Feeling like a ‘bad mum’ and failing
- Allowing new mothers permission for recovery
- ‘Hard to measure’ achievements in motherhood
- Adjust to slower tempo, striving less
- Transition, matrescence
- Maternal rage and what it masks
- Allowing compassion for self
- Unmet needs and being out of capacity
- Stigma of anger in mothers = failing
- Judging yourself for anger intensifies it
- Unwanted intrusive thoughts about accidental or intentional harm of baby
- Support sources for intrusive thoughts and maternal OCD
- Permission to look after yourself means unlearning old beliefs
Mindful New Mum: A Mind-Body Approach to the Highs and Lows of Motherhood
by Dr Caroline Boyd
Help with intrusive thoughts can be found at the following –
FREE Pandas UK Helpline (call between 11am – 10pm): 0808 1961 776
http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/
Samaritans: call 24/7 Helpline: 116 123
https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/problems-disorders
Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
