Perfectionism, overachieving and not feeling good enough, with Mandy Lehto

In this powerfully vulnerable and honest episode with Mandy Lehto, we explore the ongoing journey of healing from overachieving and not feeling good enough. Mandy shared her own experience of this work in progress, of trying to no longer base her worth on achievements and praise, and instead on feeling worthy for being who she is, imperfections and all. We explore the signs that her body was saying no to more striving, as well as the wake up call she couldn’t ignore. We finish by thinking about how imperfect people are more likeable and get a deeper connection with others than seemingly perfectly put together people.

Dr. Mandy Lehto is a personal and executive coach and writer in London.

She has a doctorate from Cambridge University, and in her former career, was a Director at a global investment bank in the City.

She has written for, or featured in, Psychologies Magazine, The Sunday Times, Psychology Today, Top Sante, The Huffington Post, eFinancial Careers, and on CNBC.

She’s a recovering overachiever, who’s on a mission to help women to identify less with their doing, and more with their being.

5:15 How striving for worth didn’t serve Mandy

8:03 Over-achieving is the only addiction we get praised for

9:19 Mandy reaches breaking point

11:41 The trap of taking on healing with the same over-achieving attitude

14:41 How Mandy became more aware of her inner critic

15:31 Surrendering to feelings

21:51 Realising that perfection gets in the way of connection

27:01 What would Mandy tell her younger self?

34:53 Avoiding competitive self-care

37:41 How to soothe the inner critic rather than escape it

39:41 Exercise that does suit high achievers

41:46 The changes that middle age have brought about

43:49 Playing through writing


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This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media