In this episode, two couples experts get together talking about the hardship of having sex after having had kids, with the sleep deprivation, change in roles, breastfeeding, exhaustion and possible resentment getting in the way. Don’t worry, we lift you up by also providing hope around how you can reconnect again sexually, with emotional and physical intimacy.
Catherine Topham Sly is a BCAP accredited counsellor, writer, and speaker who specialises in relationships, and particularly the challenges of staying connected with your partner while raising a family together. A communication and intimacy specialist, Catherine offers research-based therapy, coaching, and online courses, supporting parents to reconnect and stay close after having kids.
We talk about
4:58 Insight and connection
6:33 Physical and emotional intimacy are two sides of the same coin
8:26 Different triggers for sexual desire
10:42 The effects of rejection
11:07 How to break the cycle of rejection
12:26 Avoiding people pleasing
13:43 How much sex are people really having?
15:31 Performative vs connective sex
17:58 Reconnecting after a traumatic birth or the early days of parenthood
19:42 The benefits of reconnecting
21:20 The effect of the coronavirus pandemic on relationships
24:40 Talking about our values
26:39 Advice to expectant parents
28:52 The effects of breastfeeding on libido and intimacy
30:36 Hope for couples who have gone through a long period without intimacy
32:41 Returning to sex
34:26 Getting out of the habit of touching
35:36 Sex doesn’t have to be penetrative
36:26 When it’s time to go our separate ways
38:22 Seeking help when it’s needed
41:03 Setting good habits in a relationship
You can follow Catherine on Instagram @insightandconnection and on Facebook @insightandconnection
Pre-order my new book on Amazon.
Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
Instagram: @the_thomas_connection
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection
Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay
This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media
