What happens when the version of motherhood you thought you’d be brilliant at… completely breaks you?
In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, I’m joined by Cat Sims – aka Not So Smug Now on Instagram – for a very honest conversation about ADHD, motherhood struggles, perfectionism, postnatal depression, addiction and sobriety – and the power of knowing you’re not the only one.
Cat shares how becoming a mother collided with a lifetime of achievement and perfectionist expectations. When motherhood didn’t look or feel the way she thought it would, she was left feeling like she was failing at the one thing women are so often told should come naturally to them.
She talks openly about her experience of undiagnosed postnatal depression, suicidal thoughts, and how what had once been a “party girl” lifestyle escalated into alcoholism and addiction – and what the turning point was into now being five years sober.
We talk about what recovery has taught Cat about shame, vulnerability and connection – and why sharing the messy parts of our stories can help other women realise they’re not alone.
We also get into ADHD, rejection sensitivity (RSD), perimenopause and the exhausting pressure to hold everything together. Cat shares how criticism can feel intensely painful, why isolation can become a way of protecting ourselves from rejection, and what she’s learned about doing the opposite: reaching out, being rigorously honest and asking for help even when every part of you wants to hide.
We explore:
- ADHD, rejection sensitivity and the fear of criticism
- perfectionism and the pressure to be a “good” mother
- postnatal depression, addiction, alcoholism and sobriety
- hyper-independence and why asking for help can feel so difficult
- the mental load, resentment and communication in relationships
- the difference between guilt and shame
- making amends to yourself and learning to own mistakes without becoming them
- ADHD, hormones and perimenopause
- overstimulation and being honest with our children about our capacity
- why vulnerability online can create connection – and when it tips into trauma dumping
- slowing down and giving yourself permission to stop before you hit burnout
This is a conversation about getting things wrong, taking responsibility without drowning in shame, and letting go of the idea that we need to do everything perfectly.
Because whether you’re struggling with ADHD, motherhood, sobriety, perfectionism – or simply the relentless pressure of trying to be a functioning adult – you’re not the only one.
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