In a world that often tells us we need permission from others to pursue our dreams or feel worthy, it is essential to recognise that we hold power within ourselves. This empowering notion was discussed in the latest episode of Pause Purpose Play, titled “Permission and Self-Worth,” with Samantha Dhu. Our conversation revolved around the idea that women already have the magic inside them and need to grant themselves permission to be brave and pursue their desires. The episode also delved into the importance of acknowledging our self-worth and how it influences our ability to dream big. Let’s explore these themes further and understand how we can cultivate self-worth and grant ourselves the permission we deserve.
With a background in social work and psychotherapy, Sam firmly believes in the inherent magic within her clients. She sees herself as a facilitator of permission, providing a safe space for women to embrace their bravery and unleash their full potential. However, she acknowledges that the concept of “giving permission” can feel uncomfortable, as it implies that women need validation from external sources. Sam firmly believes that women already possess the answers within themselves; but they may need a mentor or a supportive environment to nurture their journey of self-discovery.
During our conversation on the Pause Purpose Play podcast, Sam emphasized the significance of encouraging women to acknowledge and vocalise their deepest desires. Often, we hold onto limiting beliefs and societal expectations that shape our perception of what we can achieve in life. Samantha challenges these core beliefs, urging women to dream big and shift their perspective of self-identity and the world. She believes that when we embrace our self-worth and truly believe in ourselves, we can declare what we want and make it a reality.
As a skilled therapist and coach, Sam blends her expertise to support her clients in moving past their self-imposed limitations. Many of her clients express their desires with bravery, only to be followed by doubts and fears of inadequacy. Sam skillfully utilises her therapy and coaching skills to guide them through these challenges, helping them overcome obstacles on their path towards their goals.
One crucial point Sam highlighted was the importance of accepting our thoughts, rather than attempting to eliminate or change them before taking action. Many women believe they must overcome negative thoughts entirely before pursuing their dreams. Sam and I agree that it is possible to work around these thoughts and accept them as part of the journey while still taking action. She often encounters a common self-limiting belief among her clients: the feeling of not being good enough or the perception that something is inherently wrong with them. Samantha’s focus on self-worth stems from recognising that this core belief of inadequacy is pervasive and often underlies other challenges her clients face.
During our discussion, Sam shared her experiences working with women in business, particularly those with perfectionist tendencies. These women often feel held back by their self-worth challenges, whether it manifests as feelings of not being good enough or striving for unattainable perfection. She underlines that self-worth can show up in various ways depending on the individual and their protective mechanisms.
We delved into the concept of the inner critic and its impact on self-worth. Samantha likened the inner critic to a daily companion, bombarding us with negative thoughts and self-doubt. She helps her clients shift their perspective, guiding them towards nurturing and soothing their inner voice, softening the harshness and criticism. Sam encourages her clients to develop a gentler approach to themselves, even during challenging times or when their inner critic becomes overpowering.
Furthermore, we explored the societal conditioning around self-worth, particularly for women. From an early age, many women learn that they are valued based on their achievements and meeting high standards. This conditioning creates a constant need to prove oneself, reinforcing the belief that exceptionalism is necessary to be worthy. Samantha aptly noted that exceptionalism may not be achievable for everyone, leading to feelings of inadequacy and missing out on a meaningful and impactful life.
In conclusion, our conversation highlighted the importance of recognizing and prioritizing our self-worth. Sam emphasised that our self-worth should not be dependent on external factors or achievements. She beautifully illustrated how our worthiness can be compared to that of a baby who enters the world with inherent value, regardless of accomplishments or societal expectations. Sam and I both agreed that embracing our strengths, understanding our limitations, and prioritizing self-care are essential aspects of building and maintaining self-worth.
If you would like to learn more about Sam or engage in a conversation about self-worth, feel free to reach out to her on Instagram @samanthadhu. And don’t forget to check out her podcast, “Permission Granted,” for more soulful and transformative discussions. As mentioned on the podcast, we also have an event together in London on the 12th of August, called Nourishing You. You can attend this intimate private dining experience together with 9 other women by clicking this link: Nourishing You
Remember, it is essential to give yourself permission to ask for what you need and prioritise self-care. Start by listening to your heart and body, and give yourself the love and support you deserve. You are enough, just as you are.
