Do you often find yourself being hard on yourself or having a strong inner critical voice? If so, this blog post is for you. We will discuss the forms your inner critic takes, why it exists, and how you can manage it to lead a more positive life.
Your inner critical voice can be harsh, hostile, and even subtle. It criticises your choices and behaviour, sometimes making you doubt your abilities and fear failure. Other times, it may be angry and punitive, berating you for your actions or words.
In some cases, your inner critic operates subtly, providing a negative running commentary in the background of your life.
To better understand your inner critic, consider the following four points:
- Identify the things you typically criticise yourself for. Is it your work performance, relationships, or personal choices?
- Note the words or phrases your inner critic uses. Are there any recurring themes or phrases that come up frequently?
- Reflect on how you feel after being hard on yourself. Do you feel anxious, worried, or defeated
- Consider the tone of voice and facial expressions of your inner critic. How does it present itself to you?
Understanding the reasons behind your inner critic’s existence is crucial in learning to manage it. It may be trying to protect you from potential failure, rejection, or humiliation by motivating you through harsh self-criticism. However, this method of motivation can feel detrimental to your mental well-being.
The inner critic can be harsher on you than others would be, judging you more severely than others might. Recognising this discrepancy is essential for developing compassion for your inner critic. You can’t simply banish your inner critic, as it serves a protective function. Instead, find alternative ways to keep yourself safe and motivated without relying on harsh self-criticism.
One way to approach this is through compassionately correcting your mistakes and understanding that criticism isn’t helpful for personal growth or changing behaviour. By understanding the function of your inner critical voice, you can start to communicate with it differently, developing compassion and acknowledging the reasons behind its existence.
Keep in mind that you can’t fight fire with fire; trying to silence your inner critic with more negativity won’t work. Instead, try to soothe it and regain control over your life. If you’d like to learn more about this, read my book, The Lasting Connection
In summary, your inner critic serves to protect you but often does so in a harmful way. By recognising the forms it takes and understanding its function, you can learn to communicate with it more compassionately. Developing compassion for your inner critic and finding alternative ways to motivate yourself can lead to a more positive and fulfilling life.
